I think we shield ourselves from pain.    No great leap there.     Or we shield ourselves from the potential for pain.    Again, not a great leap.     Obviously we try to protect ourselves from the gross forms of pain.    Pain to the body.    Protection for the body.    But also from pain in subtler realms.    Emotional.    Mental.

Intimate relationships bring these issues up for me.    I can’t speak to the rest of the world but in contemporary American society it seems to me that we throw ourselves into intimate relationships with one another.    With near strangers actually and yet we protect our tender hearts from potential pain.    I certainly have done that.    I’ve witnessed it.    It’s been done to me.    In fact, I’ve seen it so much that I would have to give it statistical significance.      It’s like we give our bodies without our hearts.     Is that a disconnection?    Is there a more organic way to be in relationship?

I’m not even going to say that we do this because of a decadent, declining civilization.    When I survey other cultures I don’t see many positive models either.     Burkas?    Acid burned women?    No.   No.    That is not the way.     But what is the way?    How do we, in this modern day, have intimacy AND be open?    Can we do both of them?     What is the balance?     How to be real and vulnerable and fearless?

I don’t think there really can be an answer.    For there to be AN answer there would have to be a universe with ONE way.     I don’t think that can be or at least I’m not in alignment with that way of seeing.    So, I’ll just hang out here in the uncertainty.    I’m not happy about it but I’m here.     I’ll just hold the hope that some organinc solution may arise.     It may not but I usually feel pretty awake.     And hopeful.

from an image search "waiting"