One Precious Incarnation

I just read an article in the HP that said college students in the US are not learning how to think critically or creatively.    I agree.    I was a teacher at FSU many years ago and it was sad.    Maybe fun for them.    The majority just wanted to party and get laid and I can appreciate that but it would have been nice to get some real learning in there.    I did the best I could but our dept. was under pressure to teach a class that in my opinion was bullshit and who can blame the poor grad students for simply toting the party line.    It’s like a season of the Wire where everyone thinks short term, juking stats, and promoting the douches.    I did the best I could.

One of the notes in the article was how students don’t write and that many students never had to write more than 20 pages. That’s kind of what brought me here to post today. I don’t really have anything interesting to say and just really wanted to post something pretty to break up the gray theme of the website. Probably also to post a piece of music.

I like writing on this blog. As I may have indicated earlier, it’s sort of an exercise in form. Can I say something that is pleasing to me with some pictures in just the right way? I probably would post more often. I probably would post more outrageous stuff too but as I also indicated earlier, I’ve been raw from some recent experiences and kind of just don’t know how to approach certain subjects. I have many aspects to my personality and am trying to find the best way to express myself. Should I go academic? Try for comedy? Outrageousness? Cool, smart creative? In truth, I’m just happy to be in the habit of creation (when I’m in that habit).

So, like here’s a song I made:

Joyous 5

I had a lovely moment on the NY subway this morning.    I got on my train and grabbed the rail and the train started moving and I noticed I was standing next to this pleasant Chinese family.    The man I presume to be the father coughed.    The train accelerated.    His son was listening to an MP3 player.    He reached over and gently tugged one of the earbuds out of his son’s ear.    The son just put the ear bud back in as though nothing happened.   It was so delicate and charming.    Then he reached over and groomed his daughter’s hair for a moment.   She turned around and smiled.    Her mom smiled and touched her daughter’s hair too.    It was such a pleasant moment.    I started grinning.

I must have looked pretty wild to them.    A long-bearded man in wool and rags.    I really felt the world community on that subway car.   We were sort of all one family in a tight space from different corners of the world.   Everyone staking out their own little slice of “attention real estate” on the subway car.    Moments like these are always so tender for me.    It’s like we all want to connect but most of the time we put up walls that keep us from connecting.  Unless we’re drunk or partying or doing business with each other.   The whole vibe is different on the trains at different times.

There was a beautiful girl on the G train.    She looked Russian and she came in and sat down and like most New Yorkers conjured a force field that said, “don’t bother me”.    I guess we all do it to get through the ride when our sense of intimate space is forcefully compromised.    I enjoy those moments but not everyone does.    I usually just hold space and go to a very meditative place.   Sometimes I can actually feel other people’s energy fields.   Like our Anandamaya koshas are melting together.

The Chinese family got off at 42nd and I saw them walk off toward the 7 train presumably home to Queens.    Maybe from visiting family.    Who knows?   I think we always think of people’s untold stories on the train.   Who are they?   Where are they going?   It brings me back to the question of who I am and where I’m going?    The family is like a reflection of me on one thread of possibility.    A sweet possibility.    One that I should be so fortunate to find myself in.   At least as it seemed to me in watching this nice family interact with each other.   I exited to GCT and on to my day.

Here’s a song I wrote later this evening:

Gingambre

"Ginger 1" from a search "Ginger Art"

Did I give it enough life?    Enough light?    I noticed there’s 80 posts.    As Maude says, “Eighty’s a good time to die”.     Maybe it’s time to retire this site.    Or this blog.    Or whatever it is this is.

What got me here at the moment is an article I just read on the Huff Post.     Here it is as a simple copy and paste.     I don’t want to wreck my flow.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dave-winer/post_1513_b_803114.html

In the article, it says a blogger bares one’s heart to the world.    That’s one of the reasons I stopped updating.    I guess I got scared.    This site was given to me by a friend.     A dear friend and lover and then I had a new girlfriend and though I want to bare all I didn’t want to hurt any feelings.    Or, at least I just felt a little vulnerable about the whole thing so I just kind of let it drop.    It was too bad.    I really was enjoying the habit of writing and making music and posting.

It was for me, an exercise in good taste.    Can I say something in just the right way?    Can I find just the right picture?    Can I be authentic?    I’ve still been creating but not in this forum and as I said, just sorta felt weird about it.    But now the former lover has a new bf and maybe I feel freer to post.

I hope I have something interesting to say.

from an image search "heartbreak"

from an image search "heartbreak"

from an image search "heartbreak"